8 Expert-Backed Tips for Parents on How to Support Your Child’s Mental Health
In our world today, mental health is at least as important as physical health — and for children, it’s a building block of becoming happy, resilient adults. As many parents zero in on proper eating and exercise so their child grows up healthy, there has been increasing recognition of the importance of the emotional and psychological well-being of their child, too.
Dr. Nicholas J. Westers, Psy. D., ABPP, a clinical psychologist at Children’s Health℠ and Associate Professor at UT Southwestern, who explains it this way: Mental health doesn’t mean managing disorders. Instead, it’s teaching everyday habits — spotting emotions, reframing negative thoughts, practicing empathy and resilience.
Here, Dr. Westers offers actionable strategies for parents that can help support their child’s mental health, promote resilience, and foster emotional, social and psychological thriving.
What Is Mental Health, and Why Is It Important for Kids?
According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, mental health is our emotional, psychological and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel and behave, determining everything from academic achievement and friendships to physical health.
That the U.S. is facing an unprecedented mental health crisis among children in the wake of a pandemic comes as no surprise: 1 in 5 children in America suffer from a mental, behavioral or developmental disorder like anxiety, ADHD, depression or behavioral problems, all of which seem to feed into each other– so doing right by kids’ mental health has never been more urgent.
Parents have a powerful impact on their child’s mental health. Although genetics can raise a child’s risk for developing a mental health condition, environmental factors — such as parenting styles, emotional support or healthy routines — can lead to significant differences.
8 Ways To Elevate Your Child’s Mental Health
Be Intentional and Attuned
When parents are attuned to children’s needs, children thrive. This involves being fully present and attuned to your child’s verbal and nonverbal cues.
If parents can create a safe space where children feel understood, supported, and free to express their emotions, it lays a foundation for mental health. Instead of just labeling a child’s tantrum as bad behavior, for example, think about what feelings he might be experiencing that you need to address instead. Is your child tired, hungry or frustrated? Children who feel validated learn to trust and express their emotions.
Balancing closeness and compliance
One of the best protective factors against mental health challenges is a strong parent-child relationship. Creating that emotional connection makes children feel safe to come to you with problems, big and small.
Instead of lashing out in frustration when a child misbehaves — say, throwing a tantrum at a restaurant — take a moment to think about the context of the situation. Is your child misbehaving because they are hungry, tired or have some other need that is not being met? When you lead with empathy you strengthen your connection and maintain a healthy base to where children are more eager to comply with your boundaries and rules.
As a rule of thumb, consider your relationship with your child a “bank account,” Dr. Westers advised. More regularly depositing emotional closeness means you won’t “go bankrupt” when it’s time to deter them.
Allow Your Child to Experience Distress and Failure
Although it’s instinctual for parents to protect their children from hurt or failure, these challenges are crucial to developing resilience. However for the most part it is a very good test case that failing a test, losing a game, or being rejected, is simply your training for life’s unavoidable difficulties.
“Failure builds resilience, encourages growth and fosters empathy,” Dr. Westers says. Rather than swooping in to solve problems, be a presence in your child’s life while encouraging and guiding them to reflect on what they can learn from what happened.
Allow for Boredom
Boredom is not a bad thing — it’s an incubator of creativity and self-reliance. When kids have unstructured time, they learn how to self-soothe, solve problems and exercise their imaginations.
Instead of scheduling your child’s time with one activity after another, leave room for free play and exploration. It champions essential mental health skills such as independence, self-control and time management.
Establishing order and limits
Routine provides children with stability and security, as it helps them navigate their world with confidence. Clear boundaries—like bedtime routines, limits on screen time, and expectations for behavior—enable children to learn self-discipline, but also express the love and investment in their well-being.
But while a bit of flexibility is important, and important, consistent routines help kids navigate the highs and lows of life.
Encourage Social Connections
This is important for mental health because the human brain is wired for connection and strong relationships. For kids, social connections help develop skills that are vital for life, including empathy, conflict resolution, and emotional regulation.
Curb screen time and encourage live socializing, be it playdates, team sports or family outings. Dr. Westers recommends trying to spend, for every hour of online engagement, approximately 30 minutes of face-to-face socializing.
Model Positive Behavior
Children learn by watching. As a parent, you can model healthy emotional practices by sharing your own feelings (not overdoing it), admitting when you’ve been wrong and modeling a path to recovery from roadblocks.
“When parents model resilience, children learn it’s OK to mess up, mistakes are opportunities for growth,” Dr. Westers says.
When you model this graceful navigation of challenges with self compassion, you give your child a blueprint for when and how to regulate their own experience.
Encourage Healthy Lifestyle Habits
Mental health and physical health are very intertwined. Promote habits that are in service of both:
- Balanced Nutrition: A diet based on fruits and vegetables and whole grains promotes brain health and emotional regulation.
- Exercise: Getting physically active helps improve mood and lower stress levels.
- Adequate Sleep: The sleep schedule of the people must not be disturbed as sleep is a basic need of human beings for emotional and cognitive well-being.
- Digital Hygiene: Teach them how to use technology responsibly, from limiting screen time before bed to encouraging unplugged family time.
